You Did Nothing Wrong. Now It's Time to Swim.

A salmon swam in circles near the mouth of the river. She was not weak. She was not sick. She knew exactly where she needed to go: upstream, where she was born, where she belonged. But she had been turned back so many times that she no longer dared to try. The other fish thought she had made peace with the water. But it wasn’t peace. It was fear. And fear, it turns out, is a much stronger current.

I see this every week in coaching sessions.

People who have been laid off. Talented, experienced, capable people who know exactly what they want and where they belong. But they’ve been turned back enough times that something shifts. They stop sending applications. They soften their ambitions. They start shrinking themselves to fit whatever hole might take them.

And underneath it all, one question loops endlessly: “What did I do to cause this?”

Nothing. You did nothing.

A manager was given a number. A spreadsheet was filled. Decisions were made based on team size, salary, location, often randomly. Layoffs are not a verdict on your worth. They never were.

But life is not fair. We built laws and systems to make it feel that way. And every time reality shows us the limits, it hurts. The gazelle is eaten by the lion, and there is no reason why that specific gazelle. Wrong place, wrong time. Nature has no concept of fairness. We made that up to make life bearable.

So stop trying to find what you did wrong. That search consumes precious energy. It leaks into how you speak about yourself. It shows up in interviews.

Instead, breathe. Look in the mirror and say:

“I did nothing to deserve this. My previous employer screwed up. They messed up planning, hired bad leadership. And as a consequence, I lost my job. Serves them right that I no longer work there. Their loss.”

Then make a list of your achievements. Not your job titles. Not your product launches. The things nobody can ever take away from you.

Here’s how I do it:

I am Javier. I am from a family of musicians. I held my family together when my parents divorced. I have the best brother on the planet, and I am here to protect him. I studied Psychology and was the first person in generations to get a PhD. I am a good researcher. I have a wonderful family, a loving wife, and two wonderful children. I care about people. I lead teams, and they tell me I do a good job. I care about honesty, transparency, and hard work. I have a lot to contribute, and I will measure myself by the amount of good I do to this planet.

Write your own. And every morning, tell yourself that story.

You know where you belong. The river is strong. But so are you.

Photo by Brandon on Unsplash